Poem - Johanns' Pie in the Sky

Those (so called) champions of less government,
Farm Bureau and NCBA,
Are creating a new monster
in collusion with the USDA.

Call it animal ID or insane delusion
or whatever you please,
Cost of implementation
will bring ranchers to the knees.

ID cost the Australians
$37.28 per head just last year.
Of course, NCBA's glib spokesmen
say we have nothing to fear.

In Farm Bureau promotions
they claim it's just another tool.
I say if you believe that
You're certainly a fool.

The IRS just keeps smiling;
they'll figure taxes when the calves are born.
And ranchers meekly sign up
just like sheep getting shorn.

The bankers are happy
their loans are secure,
Cause when you borrow money
they'll get your ID numbers for sure.

Packers are gleeful
with lackeys doing their bidding.
Proprietary information secure, yeah.
Who are they kidding?

They say 48-hour traceback
in case of disease,
Then continue importing contamination
as pretty as you please.

TB from Mexico
and a Canadian BSE cow,
Expect Foot & Mouth germs from South America
just about any time now.

So ID your cattle
and your horses and mules.
Pay Farm Bureau and NCBA
to enforce the government rules.

ID your dogs
and then your cats.
Eventually you'll have to ID
your own precious little brats.

Our 4-H kids all need
an ID tag in their ear.
It's just more government "help," don't you know,
and there's nothing to fear!

The undersecretary told us
Johanns practices that old Golden Rule.
Is that why he delays implementation
of Congress-passed COOL?

Let's double the checkoff;
we need more "Government Speech."
With hands in our pockets
they'll just hang on like a leech.

Bring those Canadian cows down now,
our markets are too high!
We can make a good living eating
Johanns' pie in the sky.

If you don't like my message
just wait until tomorrow.
My President will say "ignore it" and "delete it,"
much to my sorrow.

Stephen A.
Alma, Kansas